Why are you doing this?

Good question. Partly because I can, mostly because there is a drive to get these songs that I love recorded before my rock voice loses its balls. I used to sing Rock and Blues in my Band days in the 1980s and I want a memory that I was once able to roar and bawl like a bear. So when (god willing) I am on my last breaths in a bed with my iPad containing all my videos and with a pair of headphones, I can have a final listen and watch before heading off into wherever, whatever or not-ever waits in the afterlife. Also be something to play when the coffin rolls into the burner. Morbid, maybe, but there you go. 

But mostly I do this cos I find it fun and satisfying, especially when the result makes me smile. Which it does pretty much most of the time and still does after many times of viewing.

I also enjoy the idea of greater engagement that early video once promised but seemed to lose in the search for spectacle over connection. Greater connection and emotional engagement through audio plus visual feels somehow right - and looking to create these in a way that also has a signature hint of "me" feels....  artsy. There are some stunning creations on Youtube that blend recorded audio tracks with some amazingly sensuous and sublime images and sequences. There is expression here beyond the verbal and visual which is what I feel that Art can and should be. And I would want such art to be created and alive in the world. Again, because I feel I can and because I feel what I have to say in this sense has worth and merit - creating something audio-visually new and engaging.  

To be frank, there is also a bit of ego that hungers for recognition and adulation. But it doesn't define me. At least I don't think it does. The validation would be nice and welcome but I'm too old to want for it that badly. I'm content enough with the singing and writing and good food and wine and company. And reasonably good health. And living this life with a soul mate. Legacy sounds perhaps a bit grandiose and pompous, but there is an element of immortality that I think many of us crave and which drives us to do what we do. Though it's always good to keep perspective on these things. Macbeth feels apt here:

"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,

And then is heard no more. It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing."

Sound and fury. Indeed.